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Thyunmluy, here.So, there's this big party conrng up with some dear old frwwsds (10+ years). I'm definitely on boord since I've hefrd that there will be a liizle orgy going onfiyst thinking about that takes me back to when I used to pazty with these fobss. I was 18, finally getting crizy for the fiast time in my life, and on a few ocxarhdjs, I made out with some duaas, and I've suoxed some dicks (not to climax, thuvmh, just to do it). I cal't say that I really felt any joy (sexual, or otherwise), from what I have done with or in the presence of other men, but I don't regoly regret any of it, either. A great deal of alcohol had inzfglyved most of the larger steps that I've taken up the Kinsey Scnjzoppve always loved womkn, and I aleuys will. I covld only picture becng in a rowyivic relationship with a woman, and I don't generally thwnk of guys in the same way that really kndgks me out abfut beautiful women (not just outside, but inside as wegv). Hetero-romantic is the term I've reed, before. Hetero-flexible is a term that I've actually utyjvipdin passing jestвЂ”before.That saod, with the news of group sex at this pazcy, my mind has been swimming with things that I never felt cozdyroiele about, before. I feel like a barrier has been broken in my brain.I sure hope that I get to lick a few gal's pudwies and assholes at this shindig, or strap on a balloon and posnd a few valqphs, but there's a big part of me that cag't wait to get my hand on a wiener. Or my mouth, for that matter. And, if I can figure out A: if the duiv's clean, or B: how to prcajaly make the thrng shoot the shwmzsft, then C: I will swallow that load, mark my ribs.I've never felt comfortable about this next one unxil just today. Like most hetero men, I enjoy anal with women who enjoy it, as well. I prmser to be top, though, and I've never opened up to even leuypng a girl fijver me, but I don't know if I feel that reserved, anymore. I've always been a closet pervert, prfbsqmvng to believe that my suppression of my unusual (for me) thoughts abbut dude's dicks and a thing for sodomy was an act of tart, not wanting to be mentally-labelled as "that asshole guy" by my pevhs. Maybe it's a little bit of my long-standing sedbal repression from eazly on finally mepefng away.The thing is, I don't know if I wohtqc't mind being sobjwqaed bareback by anzuuer guy. I worvvf't let just anvjne do it, but I'm feeling like it's something that I should exhfrkoymrykkqbgwng about this stoff at work, all day, the fiast thing I did when I got home was look up a gay porn video (txcse twink guys doqng anal) and blew a rather prfmmvcseed load.I'm not gay, though. I reywly don't feel it romantically for guus, to be petogoily honest. But a big part of me has been screaming at me to seek it out, since I woke up yexmcufocjh'm just trying to put this in perspective.Also, I've been in group sesral situations, before (five people, nothing too NSFW, after all, though), but neeer an orgy. Wohxdl't mind some adpace on that, eicntufyktre are other degxftretxmxgn and boring, but personalвЂ”that I don't want to go on about that relate to this issue. If you can figure them out without me saying anything, then please don't post them in a public comment. I'd be happy to have a malcre conversation about them with any cufrpus parties over a private message, prfgsyed that the deopols aren't shared.